Identity
We are always talking about Identity. No one seems to know who they are or even how to define the self, but we do have some intuitive subconscious idea of it because the moment our identity is threatened we jump to defend it.
— If you want to be known as a thinker and someone says “you didn’t think that through” or if you want to be known as the person with all the answers and someone says “Let me tell you how to fix that” you feel attacked and upset. That is an indication your identity has been threatened.
The same is true if you think of yourself as organized and someone calls you messy or suggests there is a mess round you or if you think your a good mom and your kids act bad - this is an identity issue.
Yet! If I was to ask you to give me a full break down of yourself - you would freeze and stumble in your words. And those of you who would be good at talking wouldn’t do a great job being accurate with all your complexities. You do not know who you really are. Further, we are bad at reading others, knowing how we are perceived, and often, knowing how we come across.
Personal Analogy:
When I was a kid I would dress up as power rangers, Walker Texas Ranger, and others to pretend. Many children do this, and what are they doing when they pretend?
They are testing out an identity and placing themselves into another shoes. The problem I had was when the identity I was trying out didn’t work in every sphere of my life. Such as when I would pretend to be Walker Texas Ranger; What was I to do if Mom told me to take off the gun and holster to go into Kroger? Who am I now? What about if mom told Walker Texas Ranger to go clean his room? Who am I now? The Identity I was acting out in didn’t work in all the areas that plain ol Devin lived in. So unless I could adapt to a different narrative where Walker Texas Ranger had a mom who bossed him around all the time then I had to assume a different identity. Of course, most of the characters that we try to mimic are often one dimensional characters so we cannot often fit them into other scenarios that don’t fit their one dimensional orchestrated world.
Some still pack around those identities. Whether through roles, achievements, appearances, etc. You still pretend to be something you think is appealing to those around you. "I’m good acceptable or ok if _____.” (Fill in the blank: “I keep everyone safe, if I have all my children dressed a certain way, if my kids act a certain way, If I seem like I am ok and unbothered, if I am funny, If I am pretty, If I am knowledgable, If I achieve this promotion, If I make this certain amount of money or have certain possessions,…
It seems as though maturity looks a lot like letting go of those attempts to define yourself by acts of control and more like defining ourselves by what controls us.
For the Christian this would mean being defined by the Holy Spirit and for those who are not Christians that would mean whatever impulse or desire that occurs to you.
As the The Heidelberg Catechism states: That I am not my own, but belong—body and soul, in life and in death—to my faithful Savior, Jesus Christ. (1 Cor. 6:19-20)
People face struggles when defining themselves by external factors e.g., career, social status, physical appearance. When we define ourselves by these things we risk having the world shatter around us, because we cannot control our circumstances, relationships, or even ourselves perfectly.
When we have our children in perfect order - and they do something we don’t like - we handle it really badly.
When our identity is in our looks and we have a bad hair day - we get grumpy and frustrated and annoyed.
When we define ourselves by how well we do our job and we have a bad boss then we get broken and are unable to move on. The teacher’s (probably Solomon) conclusion to trying out the various identities the world has to offer was “Meaningless! Meaningless! says the Teacher. ‘Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless.” (Ecc 1:2)
There is emptiness when we seek identity in temporary or superficial things.
Comedian Colin Quinn once said: {link to video}
“So identity is who the government says you are, like your license …
personality is who the people that know you think you are.
Reputation is who the people that don’t know you think you are, and your
social media presence, your profile is who you think you are and
your browser history is who you are.”
Why is that true?
Identity begins in recognizing the truth about who we really are and not what we want to present. It begins with recognizing our sin, shortcomings, and inabilities.
Identity begins at the beginning of the gospel. We must first and foremost understand the concept of our insufficiency. It isn’t until we start to make sense of our negative experiences, insufficiencies, and fallen nature that we begin the journey of finding our identity.
Because it is only in looking in these areas that we begin to see how our identity is tied directly into our relationship with God.
Nietzsche and the death of God as the fall of society
It was 1888 when Nietzsche declared “God is dead” and what he meant by that was not that the one true God of the Bible had physically died, but that society was no longer looking to a higher power outside themselves to define themselves and derive their morals. He was not too happy about this either. He was certain that man would begin to derive meaning from within themselves and that would lead to a debauchery that would look like Old Testament Israel.What Nietzsche picked up on was the fact that man needs to be anchored in something that he did not come up with nor has control over.
ANALOGY: Identity is like a boat anchor
A Boat anchor doesn’t hold you tightly in one spot, it allows the boat to move around while keeping it held to general location. So, when our identity is in Christ we are anchored to something that is sure and outside of us, but we might not all be in the exact same spot. There is room to float a little, but not to drift out to sea or be blown away altogether.
So Nietzsche, thought that human beings would have to change into creatures who can determine their own value. Carl Jung would come after Nietzsche and explain that it wasn’t possible for humans to create their own values. The reason for that is that we are neither our own masters nor our own slaves. Our nature was not infinitely malleable. We could not tell ourselves simply what to do and even if we did, we would not simply listen. Every human being has a nature with which they must contend.
That leads us to realize that even these guys who were not believers saw a necessity in finding our identity in something beyond our own beliefs, desires and actions. We have to be anchored to something that is bigger than us and that is unchanging In order to find purpose.
And fundamental to understanding our identity in Christ is first to realize that we are fallen, insufficient on our own, and our own views are warped and our need great!
We first look to see that we are not enough, and that we must have something outside of us in order to be grounded in a stable identity.
Biblical Identity
So now let’s look at the definition, what the Bible says about identity and how to apply this:
Defintion:
Identity encompasses how people see their purpose and values, which dictate their actions. An identity can contain multiple roles—such as a mother, teacher, and U.S. citizen—and each role holds meaning and expectations that are internalized. Identity continues to evolve over the course of an individual’s life.
David Hume had the idea that identity is like a box of various things that moves through time, so that the things in the box are constantly moving in and out of the box as it moves through time. As evidence he sites the idea that the person you were when you were born is not the same person you are now. Your identity has changed yet you remain the same soul.
This closely alines with the Bible’s view of the self and sanctification. We are supposed to be always growing in Christ likeness. So that we are the new creation in Christ, but we are always growing.
— 2 Corinthians 5:17 – “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!”
— 1 Peter 2:1-5 Therefore, putting aside all malice and all deceit and hypocrisy and envy and all slander, 2 like newborn babies, long for the pure milk of the word, so that by it you may grow in respect to salvation, 3 if you have tasted the kindness of the Lord. 4 And coming to Him as to a living stone which has been rejected by men, but is choice and precious in the sight of God, 5 you also, as living stones, are being built up as a spiritual house for a holy priesthood, to offer up spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.
Application to identity being a growing (sanctification):
This is why it is so important NOT to declare you are something as a final definite. When I hear someone declare - or make an absolute statement “I never ____, I will always ____, You always _____ these are not consistent with the view that we are ever changing and growing. Instead we ought to be specific and sincere with our words. Not making grand generalizations, but being thorough with our speech.
One Author put it like this:
"Knowing yourself” or "finding yourself” can be dangerous. It can submit you into a strict rule and saddle you with unnecessary expectations. It can close you off to inner potential an outer opportunities. Don't find yourself. Never know who you are. Because that's what keeps you striving and discovering. And it forces you to remain humble in your judgments and accepting of the differences in others. (Mark Manson, The Subtle Art pg. 139)
SUMMARY:
We are ever changing beings, who are created to grow and change in the likeness of the One who created us. Our identity therefore is found in relationship to Him and how we relate to Him. This begins with our admittance that we are broken, and unable to get to or achieve a relationship with the one who defines us. Left on our own, we would continue in our lost state, apart from true purpose or identity and would define ourselves based on values that would not fulfill us and our ultimate end would be Hell separated from God forever.
